Worry not about people that talk behind your back. This simply means you are one step ahead of them, and they are in the right location to kiss your ass. =)
Ever get the feeling your "Stuff" strutted off without you?
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down .... are the ones who got you mad in the first place?
The original point and click was the Smith & Wesson.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Do not handicap your child by making their lives easy for them --- (Lazarus Long)
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should just relax and get used to it. -- (Robert Heinlein)
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died
A kleptomanaic is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself.
Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. -- (Bill Gates)
A bird in the hand will probably shit on your wrist.
Why does the sun lighten our hair while it darkens our skin?
"What you believe is more important than what you possess. What you live is more important than what you profess. Whom you inspire is more significant than who you impress" Author unknown.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning -- Catherine Aird"
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." ---Abraham Lincoln
There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
(1) The Stone..........after it's thrown,
(2) The Word..............after it's said,
(3) The Occasion.......after it's missed,
(4) Time.............after it's gone.
(5) A person.................after they die
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go." --T.S. Elliot
You can't hurt your eyesight by looking on the bright side.
Ask yourself if you would feel comfortable giving your two best friends a key to your house. If not, look for some new best friends
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Remove your sunglasses when you talk to someone.
Never grab a falling knife.
When you get really angry, stick your hands in your pockets.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. -Unknown
Don't worry about what people think. Most of them don't do it very often.
'When you get to your wits' end, you'll find God lives there
Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of our selfishness, listen to it carefully
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Franklin D. Roosevelt
What people think of you is none of your business.
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
Don't take yourself so seriously, no-one else does.
Be who you are and say what you feel....because those that matter....don't mind....and those that mind....don't matter.
Did you ever notice that the Roman Numerals for (40) is XL?
Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"
A penny saved is a government oversite.
The easiest way to find something lost, is to buy a replacement.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose for a childs middle name is so he can tell when he's "really" in trouble.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft, now, it's called golf.
It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. -- Abe Lincoln
How come round pizzas come in square boxes?
Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen you have to worry twice.
A wise old bird sat in an oak; the more he heard, the less he spoke; the less he spoke the more he heard. Lord let me be like that wise old bird.
